Change is upon me. Us. Everyone, constantly. In college life, change always hits at the end of one semester and the beginning of another. Historically, there is a more concentrated dose around August and September, when the typical student moves into a new apartment with new people. I've moved every August but I've had a constant roommate as a friendly face, so no matter who else was in the apartment, it didn't matter much. And lo, I embark on this grand new adventure: moving into an apartment with no knowledge of who my future roommates are. This has turned out 66% poorly for me this year, but I'm resolved that I will rise above whatever affliction a crazy roommate might bestow on me in the coming months. Random, do your worst, for I am ready.
Because my life just wasn't exciting enough, I'm also trying to sell a contract that is supposed to begin in 3 weeks, while I am 1 week away from being homeless. Once relieved of this contract, I presently have no alternatives. My own decisions astound me. I enjoy planning events 3 months in advance (at least), and yet I've chosen to do this a month before a very hectic Fall semester begins.
And to wrap everything up nicely, I'm attempting to change my major during what should be my senior year of college but in what is actually my pseudo sophomore year of my major. Information Technology to English. I was never a fan of large paychecks or job security, so changing majors seemed the logical choice, right? Right...
So here I am, in a handful of quandaries (that's really how you spell that... amazing). And yet, my heart rate hasn't reached a dangerous height, my eyes aren't swollen from tears, and I'm even chipper enough to write a blog post. I'll say it again: Change is upon me. Us. Everyone, always. Even when I've thought my life was moving in a very orderly, peaceful direction, it was changing. The change just wasn't so dramatic as it is now. Change is actually a constant so in it's presence, I am comforted.
I won't pretend that it is easy, because it's not, let's get real. But I believe our reactions can make it easier. I do not know what I will do with an English degree. But now I know what I'll be doing for my last few years of college: enjoying myself. I do not know where I am going to be living next week. But I know that it will do me some good to not have every instance of my life accounted for 3 months in advance. I do not know if I will have any friends in the coming year. But I do know that change is good for me.
So in a few months when I'm sobbing, alone on my bed because life is too hard, I'll come back and delete this post. However, currently the sun is shining, I have a full day of leisure reading in front of me, and nothing seems too ridiculous to accomplish. And just to go along with this crazy change business, this post will not receive a title. Look at me, walking on the wild side...
2 comments:
"So here I am, in a handful of quandaries (that's really how you spell that... amazing). And yet, my heart rate hasn't reached a dangerous height, my eyes aren't swollen from tears, and I'm even chipper enough to write a blog post."
I wish I had your rational thinking skills. I've been emotionally unstable all week. I'm so scared of the change. I don't want to change wards, I don't want to change apartments, I don't want to make new friends, I don't want to take my last class, I don't want to change.
Alas, like you said, change is the one consistent thing we have in this life. So I should buck up. Thanks for your post. It has helped immensely.
PS. I really am so happy you're majoring in English. You're going to be able to do incredible things with it.
you rock, Mom
Post a Comment